Mood: Can’t say… cuz I don’t know

Doing: Revising chemistry

Listening to: Runaway - Avril Lavigne

“I just wanna scream and loose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah
I just want to fall and loose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah”

Exactly my words!
Why now? Why now, when things are going well, when the exam is freaking us out already?

Too many things are happening at the same time. Of course, you gotta go on in life, but not like this… not now. Veena and I live just about 0.5 km away from each other… so easy for us, when we need each other. At the beginning of our friendship, which would be 13 years ago, we lived in the same city. A few years later, she moved to, where she lives now. Our friendship only grew bigger, even though there was a HUGE distance, a difference! About 3 years ago we finally got to live in the same city, as I moved to here as well.

NOW: I’m going to study on Uni soon, we’re having dreams that will probably just remain as dreams, Veena is maybe going to move, exams are soon… what more do we need?

I know, that one day or another, you have to do certain things… but I really feel like I’m not ready to step through this door. Usually people say that there are a lot of doors open, and you just have to choose, which ever you like.. but I feel, there is only one door that exists in the first place, then what other choice is there? Deep inside I know there are other paths I can take… but right know I’m just a little confused.
Yesterday I was at Veenas place. Even though we were laughing and “having fun”, it didn’t FEEL like that. The atmosphere was all wrong…
Later on, when I got home, I wrote with my best friend from my school- and high school time. We were talking about the huge difference there was between, what we WANT TO pursue, and what we DO!
THAT discussion on top of the fact that Veena was maybe gonna move soon… wasn’t exactly a nice cocktail.

Anyway, we’re trying to stay calm about this even though it feels horrible. You can leave a comment, if you’re going through or have experienced similare things or have any advises to feel better about it… Even though I’m proberbly over it already…

I really have a lot of updates for the site, but I really don’t feel like doing it now… when I get better time and better mood, I’ll do it for sure.

Anyway… change of topic. I watched some movies last week : Our Happy Times (OMG! :’( makes you think about life, for real *cries* ) & Secret (a very beautiful movie… so beautiful, it makes you cry (well… it did for me); especially the music)

I think those movies are MUSTS!

Anyway… the blog came out kinda too long, so I think I’ll stop here, even though I can keep writing.

Cya in my next blog <3